normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
