There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
