Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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