Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
