im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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