I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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