Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize