Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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