Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
