Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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