After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
