Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
