I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
