I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
