I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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