She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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