Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
