i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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