Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
