I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
