ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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