What a fucking waste of an outfit
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
