her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
