Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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