There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
