how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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