You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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