are you so shy because you have an std?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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