How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
