she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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