Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize