awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
