My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
