I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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