ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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