what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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