I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
