What a fucking waste of an outfit
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she peed on how many people?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
