so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize