return my video game
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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