You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
