yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
