you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
