Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
