He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
