Plan B is the new Plan A
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
