wrigley field is MILF paradise
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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