Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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