so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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