Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize