I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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