Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
