Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
