we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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