Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
