They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
