Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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