i just had sex bonerless
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
