I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
