eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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