I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
