I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
