i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
