the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
